crispy fried, pickle on top, soft potato bun — the best of these will surprise you

ask the server what they'd order on their day off — that's always the right call

thick enough to need a spoon — vanilla is the safe pick, but seasonal flavors win when fresh

best value on the menu — sub onion rings if available, large drink because you'll be thirsty

add bacon if available, double-up if you're actually hungry